Why is the Universe so silent??

I loved you. I wanted you. More than anything. But I’ve lost it. What do you want? I cannot want you more than I want them. But even in wanting them, I realize, it’s the search for you.

All that promises of immortality, all that illusions of eternity of existence, is falling apart with my falling hair. I wanted all this, my world, to exist forever. All I got is decay, disappointment. I don’t want to believe in illusions any more, but I don’t want to face death as well. Don’t get me wrong, i don’t care about myself. I care about them, maybe in that I do care about myself. I cannot lose them, I might very well loose myself.

I looked for you. I couldn’t find you…

It was all a lie, just so that I could exit, as long as possible. The biggest scam – the promise of the Absolute. But even in denying you, I’m looking for you, be it in nothing, as nothing. But then what is nothing? What is non-existence. Some think they know. If I say they don’t, how do I know? If I say they do, how do I know? It’s futile, but is it then?

Some people, calling themselves Nihilists, think they beleive in Nothing. It’s funny, but is it then? ‘Belief in Nothing’? What is nothing? If I say they don’t know, do I know then? If I say they do know, do I know then?

All my life I chased a mirage, a fucking mirage. WOW! … HAHA … Shit!

Fucking GOD!?

Bullshit! All a fucking joke. Just so that I could justify my shitty existence, and the existence as a whole. There’s no point, but even that’s not true, even that I don’t know, none can know, but even that is not true, and is, and not, and is, and not …..

Silence …

No choice in coming to exitstence, no choice being in existence, no choice going out of existence. What a fucked up joke. It isn’t funny, but then it is the funniest.

Fucking Dictator!

O universe, why so silent? Did you do all the talking when you ‘big-banged’ yourself into existence out of non-existence? How come you ‘big-banged’ yourself, and brought yourself into existence out of non-existence?

NOTHING

All just a fluke, but then again, just an inevitability …

NOTHING = EVERYTHING

NOTHING – EVERYTHING

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